I Just Couldn’t Do it…!

There are two numbers that are important to this blog: “9” and “44.”

The first number, “9”, represents the ambient temperature of still air at the start of the first round of the Creekside Ice Bowl. As in “the inside of my nostrils just froze” and “I have ice hanging from my mustache” and “my fingers are numb all the way up to my elbows.”

The second number, “44”, is the maximum wind gust speed measured between 9 am. and noon on the same day. Descriptions of that number would include “every shot that I throw ends up either in the creek or in someone’s backyard” and “maybe if I putt with my overstable driver I can actually get closer to the basket.”

When you put those two numbers together, you get a third: “-11.” This is the wind chill temperature during the first round of the tournament.

At least, that’s what I read.

There was no way that I was going to subject myself to those conditions.

I’ve played in the wind, and the rain, and the snow. I’ve been chased off the course by lightning. I’ve finished rounds when it was so dark that I needed to use my phone’s flashlight while walking to make sure that I didn’t trip over roots and stones. I’ve even (only once!) developed a case of heat exhaustion attempting to finish a round.

But I just could not do this one. Call it age. Call it cowardice. Call me a “whining wimp.” Whatever you call it, I just could not justify putting myself through the pain and the frustration of playing that round that day in those conditions. So there won’t be a “post-mortem” for the Creekside Ice Bowl. No write-up. No video.

But also, no emergency room visit.

Kudos to those who braved the conditions — you are tougher than I am.