Stafford Shenanigans

This was my first year for the “Stafford Shenanigans” tournament at Stafford Woods in Voorhees Township, NJ., so I didn’t really know what to expect. I knew that he had planned some extra obstacles — but I was expecting some additional OB lines or some added mandos. I was, in no way, ready to putt over a snack table, drive around fairway blockages, or experience the “Doughnut of Death!”

Surprisingly, the trip from Lancaster, Pa to the course outside of Cherry Hill, NJ only took me about an hour and 40 minutes — mainly due to the fact that I was traveling at dawn on a Saturday and most of Philadelphia was still asleep. Checking in gave me my first taste of the pain that was to come — my first hole was #16, geographically the tee most distant from tournament central. My grumblings about sending the oldest players to the farthest hole to start quieted when I realized that there was a silver lining to the hike; we would be getting the most difficult hole on the course out of the way before the wind started blowing in earnest.

Hole 16… the infamous “Doughnut of Death”.

First of all, hole #16 is already difficult, as it is an elevated pin hanging from a tree branch, with the top edge of the basket easily six feet above the ground. The fairway is 545’, which on the best of days is 2 good drives for me. The TD, Brian, removed the OB restrictions that are normally on this hole, but the 25 MPH wind negated that advantage. And then… he implemented the “shenanigan” — a 25’ OB circle centered on the pin location, with a 4’ “in bounds” circle directly below the basket. Hitting the basket, then falling into the OB doughnut would cost you a stroke, but by hitting the basket, you establish a legal, in-bounds location below the basket from which you can drop in your putt and move on.

Or, at least, that’s one way to play the hole. There were others…

My first drive was way left and my second was way right. I attempted a layup short of the doughnut, but the wind pushed the disc into the OB. My 25’ putt hit right-side chains, but went long past the basket and the OB and gave me a 30’ comeback putt, which I put into the basket.

First hole…: +2 Ugh.

After that, the first half of the first round went relatively smoothly. I bogied #17 by missing the fairway left on my drive and left myself with a difficult recovery shot, then birdied #18 with an outstanding approach from an out-of-position lie. I bogied #1 because of a bad kick on the drive, then birdied #2 with another fine approach and a circle-2 putt. I birdied the first temp hole (a short shot to a “Marksman” basket), then double-bogied hole #5 by early-releasing my forehand drives twice in a row, then trying to “hero” my way through the trees. I bogied #7 — and lost my last “Nikko” Ahti in the pond.

I’ll pause here for a moment in memorium…

About now is when the wheels fell off in the round. I bogied #9 and #10 with “almost-good-but-then-REALLY-bad” tree kicks. I yanked my drive on #12, then REALLY yanked my drive on #13 (and missed the double mando trying to get out of the woods) — and quickly lost 3 more strokes. My approach on #15 went WAY down the hill and it took me an extra shot to get back to the green — which gave me a bogie on the final hole.

So the tally was:

• First hole: +2;

• Next 9 holes: +1

• Last 10 holes: +7

(As a side note — I did catch that I was getting frustrated on holes #12 and #13, and did a mental reset between holes #13 and #14.)

After a quick car lunch and a call home, it was back out to see what improvements that I could make. The loss of the Ahti definitely had an effect, and even though I had a replacement in the car, it was a stock disc instead of the VIP-X prototype run that I had been using which was MUCH more overstable. We started on hole “B” - which was a temporary teepad to the basket of #11. I managed one birdie (hole “B”) and one bogie (hole #14) through the first five holes — and then we were back at hole #16 and the “Devious and Dastardly Doughnut of Death.” My first 2 drives were normal, and I found myself about 30 feet from the edge of the OB circle. I tried to gently slide an upside down putter closer to the circle’s edge, but the wind pushed it into the circle by 6 inches. Two putts later I had carded another double-bogie 6 on that stupid … er … I mean, that “delightfully devious” hole. Hole #17 saw me repeat my mistake from the first round and have the same result. I played “tree-to-tree-to-tree” on hole #2 for another double-bogie, but then birdied hole #4 to give myself a tiny bit of a breather. I improved my score on hole 5 and only took a bogie, but then had a wonderfully windy 3-putt on hole 6 for another double. I managed to stay out of the water on 7 (for a par), then went for a walk in the woods on 8 for my third double-bogie of the front 9.

Sigh.

I shook that off and finished the round birdie/par/par to end up with a 8-over 76, which left me in 4th place out of 6. The +8 tied for the hot round in the division, but that wasn’t really much consolation given that I had played myself so far out of contention in the first round. Some of the issues could be blamed on the wind, but my big issues during the second half of the first round were mostly played in the woods. Part of the issue was the loss of a disc that I lean so heavily on, which forced me to improvise and throw some shots that I wouldn’t normally throw, but I use my whole bag, so those improvised shots were also only a small part of the problem. Looking back, it seems like I just start getting tense and tight when I throw a poor shot, and that just leads to more poor shots. There’s definitely room for improvement.

And the season has already begun.